Devatara Holman’s Meditation and Qigong for Healing Cancer and Quelling Fear

A month or two after my diagnosis, I went to see Devatara Holman, a Buddhist doctor in Sausalito. Devatara studied acupuncture and Buddhist medicine in China. When I asked her if there is a book that details her work, she told me that it was only available through direct transmission, which is common with certain Buddhist practices. She had a way of calculating the years my tumors began, which she calculated as 1992. Yep, 19 years ago! She had me focus on what had occurred in that year. Luckily, I had my journals from that year, and went back to re-read them. This was the year I came out as bisexual to my family. Devatara helped me see that I had internalized some guilt over their reaction to my revelation. This was also the year that I traveled to Mali, West Africa and experienced a life-changing spiritual event that, aided by taking a Malaria pill now known to cause psychotic breaks, prompted a deep split in my consciousness; I had done some somatic therapy at that time to integrate my consciousness, but there was much that was left in the dark, which began to grow as tumors in my right breast. Devatara gave me a Buddhist meditation that I have been doing twice daily since I saw her in August. In it, I reflect on my negative thinking from ’92, and then I do a Qigong practice to balance each of the organs and emotions in my system, and then I return to the harmful statements from ’92, and after I read each one, I scan a list of “Buddha qualities” such as Infinite Compassion, Indestructible Bliss, Incalculable Luminosity etc. I choose one of those qualities and call that quality into my body. As I do this, I get a visceral sensation that counteracts and melts the old thinking. The more I do this meditation, the more I notice that I no longer fall into the destructive moods that I had endured monthly for many years. I realize now that these old feelings of helplessness come from having abandoned myself, and that caring for myself very deeply is the antidote to them. Also, consciously bringing my shadow into the light, instead of ignoring it and allowing it to quietly grow, is the solution to not only my tumors, but also the health of my mind and spirit. I find that this meditation is especially helpful when I have bouts of fear about my cancer. During those times I spend extra time chanting the sound that corresponds with the kidneys and fear; (this sound is something like “hiiii.”) When I feel grief I spend extra time on the mantra that has to do with the lungs and grief, (“shang,) and when I feel anger or confusion or overwhelm, I focus on the liver mantra (“giaau.”) I thank Devatara for this meditation.

Devatra Holman, Buddhist Medicine, Marin Oriental Medicine:



3 thoughts on “Devatara Holman’s Meditation and Qigong for Healing Cancer and Quelling Fear

  1. Hi Beth,
    I have just read your blog, and found the information and insights inspiring.
    I am a homeopath from Maine that spoke to you on the phone about moving to Marin some time back in 2010, and you told me it was too expensive, difficult to find work, and too crowded.
    Had I really heard you I would not have come, but I had to find out for myself and came anyway. After 6 months I found out you were right on. As I gathered myself to move back to Maine and was dealing with the many emotions of having spent 2 or 3 years preparing for this move, then deciding it was not for me, I went to Inverness to a cabin of a mask maker I met hiking via the Sierra Club. I spent several weeks there, and found more peace than anyplace I had been in CA – it was wonderful and I am glad for you that you have found W Marin. At the pharmacy/ hf store in Point Reyes they told me there is work for a homeopath there, so check it out if you like.
    Best of continued healing to you on your journey, and may your inner guidance serve you very well. I’m sorry I did not meet you in person, but when I am back I would like to connect.
    A book I have found helpful by Wayne Mueller: A life of Being, Doing and Having Enough, and also, Sabbath

    Wendy Pollock, DC, CCH

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